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Looking for girlfriend > Looking for a husband > My boyfriend and i both have depression

My boyfriend and i both have depression

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Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. My ex and I had a wonderful relationship and were very happy together. Somewhere in the midst my depression returned and it hit me like a truck in December. At this point my partner was happy with me and actually told people I was 'the one'. I had noticed that he had also been progressively seeming less like his cheerful self and sensed his depression was creeping back in. I reached out to him numerous ways but was always told he was fine.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Is Depression Destroying Your Relationship? Ten Commonly Overlooked Symptoms of Depression

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 5 Tips for Dating with a Mental Illness - Kati Morton

3 things to remember if both you and the person you love have depression

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Can two people who are both suffering from depression be together? I remember Googling something like this in the past when I was very young and had my first crush on a boy who also had depression and feeling disappointed. In other words, the majority of your challenges are faced by any two people who love each other. Is there anyone or anything to blame? Conflicts happen. To me, they honestly feel like the end of the world pretty much every single time, but conflicts have to happen in any situation that involves two people being close enough to love one another.

A lot of us have the misconception that if we suffer from depression ourselves, we understand depression as a whole. There are going to be three different uncomfortable and difficult incidents that occur between you and the other person when you both suffer from depression. The first is when you are in need and the other person takes care of you. The second is when the other person is in need and you take care of them.

These are the easier ones. The third is when you are both in need. It helps to talk and prepare for future similar incidents. Me: Look, it really hurts me when we start to have a disagreement and you just hang up and disappear for an unknown amount of hours or days. Why do you do that? No, not at all. Me: Okay…that makes a lot of sense. But what you do instead still hurts me, the waiting to see what happens is so difficult, can we figure out some other way?

Sure we can, like what? Me: I just think the uncertainty makes it really hard for me. I want you to have the time you need to work through those initial intense emotions, but can you at least say something before you hang up or stop responding?

Me: What if you need more than a day? Me: So, what are you doing this weekend? This conversation might look pretty different if only I had depression, because my needs would probably be prioritized, since the situation would have been much more difficult for me. It might also look pretty different if only the other person had depression. Keep talking. Keep communicating. Learn each other. You both might have depression, but you are not the same. The person that loves you is there for you, and you are there for them, and that is beautiful , but they are not your caretaker, nor are they responsible for you.

When it comes to your mental health, you are your only caretaker, in addition to any mental health professionals you work with. Like everything else, this goes both ways when you both suffer from depression.

It will help any relationship if both parties are doing whatever they can for themselves before going to one another. The people we love are there to support us, not to take our depression away.

At times, they are there to just be there even though we are depressed, not necessarily to make things better. When both of you have depression, you might take turns being that person for each other.

The key is this: You do these things for each other because you want to, not because you have to. However, sometimes, you are going to need support, and the other person will not be able to give it to you. And likewise, you will not always be able to give it to them. This does not mean they do not love you. Just like you not being able to be there at times does not mean you do not love them.

At the same time, you can still feel sad or disappointed or anything else. Those emotions are normal and appropriate when you have depression and feel abandoned.

A lot of people tell me depression is something that gets in the way of relationships. For someone with clinical depression, this means they are doomed to a life of solitude.

Depression is not merely a case of someone having low self-esteem and not loving themselves enough. Your chances of having something beautiful and successful are the same as any two people. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You are in no way less deserving or necessarily less capable of maintaining a healthy relationship, nor is the other person. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly.

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Skip to content. Step 1: Realize that you are two people who love each other, first and foremost, not just two people who suffer from depression. And talk about them — communicate. Me: That would help a lot, actually. Thank you. Them: Anytime. And you know what?

These conversations get easier every single time. Step 3: Maintain your independence as much as you can when it comes to your mental health. I didn't grow up in as diverse of an area as I thought I did.

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5 Signs That Depression Is Eroding Your Relationship

My girlfriend and I had been living together for six months when I felt the familiar weight of depression creep into my body and she began her own battle with anxiety. I tried to hide it from her at first. I didn't want her to know this part of me. I stared at the ceiling as she slept next to me in the dark, oblivious to the grief pooling in my lungs.

I was ecstatic when my partner first asked me out. I agreed, and in the following months we spent nearly all our time together. But as the honeymoon period wound down, we had to grapple with the fact that in spite of the joy our relationship brought us, we were both depressed.

As a year-old newlywed, I felt irrationally confident about my marriage expertise. Young and still in the honeymoon period, that seemed accurate. Besides, that quote was easy for me to post: Although I struggled with depression, I only knew my partner to be cheerful. Saying I wanted him to be happy was like saying I wanted him to have blonde hair or be a hard worker.


It's Mental Health Awareness Week and we're looking at people's experiences of mental health issues - their own and those of their loved ones. Here, our writer describes her boyfriend's struggle with depression - and the toll it took on her. I met Liam the way many modern romances start. We were friends of friends who started chatting online. He offered to help me with my art magazine and it went from there. We started dating and a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was easy, carefree and very fun.

5 Ways to Grow Together When Depression Enters a Relationship

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years.

Mental illness, including depression , is something every person must face and manage in their own way.

If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship?

My partner is depressed, but so am I.

Can two people who are both suffering from depression be together? I remember Googling something like this in the past when I was very young and had my first crush on a boy who also had depression and feeling disappointed. In other words, the majority of your challenges are faced by any two people who love each other. Is there anyone or anything to blame?

Karen S. She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV. Their sex life was nonexistent. If you experience five or more symptoms for at least two weeks, you could have clinical depression, also known as major depression. Plus, we asked therapists for their best strategies to help you and your partner survive depression together.

What It’s Like To Be In A Relationship When You Both Have Depression

One woman shares the story of how undiagnosed depression almost ended her relationship and how she finally got the help she needed. It was a crisp, fall Sunday when my boyfriend, B, surprised me with a gift card for a nearby boarding facility. He knew I had been missing horseback riding. I had taken lessons from the age of 8, but stopped when the barn sold a few years prior. B had reached out to the barn manager and arranged for us to go out and meet some horses that were available for part-board which allows you to pay a monthly fee to ride the horse several times a week. I was incredibly excited.

Feb 28, - For a spouse or children of someone who is depressed, life can become dark indeed. Feeling each others' pain then can make matters.

One in six people will experience depression at some point in their life, according to the American Psychiatric Association. That means it's not totally unlikely that two people with depression can end up in a relationship with each other. As rates of depression continue to rise worldwide, so, too, do these double-depression relationships. But it's possible to have a healthy long-term relationship in these circumstances.

‘I broke up with my boyfriend when he had depression’

The silence between us is somehow deafening, tense, and uncomfortable. They are insidious, cruel and consuming illnesses. Reality becomes blurred.

21 Questions to Ask When Your Partner Is Depressed

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do.



5 Everyday Things You and Your Partner Can Do to Support Each Other When You Both Have Depression


How to Deal When You and Your Partner Both Have Mental Health Issues


Comments: 1
  1. Malrajas

    Thanks for the help in this question. I did not know it.

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