Site Logo
Looking for girlfriend > Looking for a husband > How to meet guys when youre an introvert

How to meet guys when youre an introvert

Site Logo

Now, this may sound like a mundane realization to you, but trust me, this was the Big Epiphany of my young life. I spent my teenage years pretending to be someone else. Like a lot of my friends, I went out as much as possible. I partied. I was loud.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Get an Introvert to Fall in Love with You


5 Natural Places to Meet Women as an Introverted Man

Site Logo

Meeting new people as an adult is hard. While it can be especially hard for introverts, the question of how to meet new people is certainly not isolated to one set of personalities. However, there is a way to meet people naturally. And not just any old randos. There are millions of adults wanting to meet new people. If there are so many people who want to meet new people, why are we having such a hard time doing it? Struggling with those realities feels like a Chinese finger trap.

We are trying to force it. We are looking for instant gratification. We are not patient and persistent, which are key components of the secret strategy for meeting people naturally. The concept I am going to introduce you to is Social Collision. Patience pays off. Compound interest is amazing. Both patience and persistence are pretty sweet.

Well, it is the same with building our networks. We have to invest in people consistently. We cannot toss aside our old relationships for a hot, new, sparkly, relationship. Our oldest friends are the folks who we have a foundation with. They know us best. Some years more. Some years less. You have to stay consistent and practice both patience and persistence with your relationships no matter the outcome. Your professional and social networks will compound exponentially if you do so.

We hold uncorrelated assets to mitigate risk. Sometimes emerging markets will be doing great. Other times the real estate market will be outperforming. The same happens with our social and professional networks. For example, friends that we have counted on for endless hours of conversation get busy with families, they move away, or they head off to graduate school.

It is not fair for us to count on one friend to always be there for us at every stage of life. Could all of our friends end up being unavailable due to life changes all in one year? Just like a market crash, this is a possibility.

For these reasons, we want to diversify our networks. But eventually, we need the intimacy of friendships. That is why it is important to have skills that allow us to make new connections. How can we invest in our exponentially expanding network? Especially when we have demanding jobs and crying babies of our own.

You are likely already using the method we are going to discuss. However, it is happening to you rather than you intentionally using it.

Let me tell you a story about the wrong way to approach making new friends before we discuss how Social Collision works. In my late 20s , most of my friends were married or had moved away.

I was trying anything to make new friends. After running into an alumnus of my college at a networking event, I began to text her.

One night, a first social engagement was not working out, so I texted her to see where she was. She was at a bar fairly nearby, so I stopped in. The girl I had texted was at a long table of people. All of those people were on a social sports team together from their law school.

They were in their casual clothing. I was still in my khakis and button down and carrying a backpack from work. I sat down at the loud table of people who were bonded over their common education and social sports team. Sheepishly, I tried to talk to the one person I knew, but she was surrounded by a strong network of people. Realizing my mistake, I made an excuse to leave the bar. Walking home quickly in an agitated state, I realized I had forgotten my bag.

I raced back to get it. Did he even know anyone here? My takeaway from that night was that there was something wrong with me. But what I realized years later was that there was nothing wrong with me — though there was certainly something wrong with my scattershot approach. While I had gone to school with that girl, she had formed relationships through her own Social Collision since college.

Namely, law school. The fact that we went to the same college was not a common enough bond for me to just insert myself into her social group. Hard lesson learned. So What Exactly is Social Collision? Social Collision is the most powerful concept I have encountered when it comes to meeting people naturally.

It is perfect for introverted personalities and takes the pressure off of us in the first few encounters with new people. As I said above, you have likely engaged in Social Collision already, but the results suck because Social Collision is happening to you rather than you intentionally using it. If you have kids, who are you friends with? The same goes for work colleagues. They all become friends because of Social Collision.

Further, what if we were fired? All of our relationships would be sourced from one area beyond our control. We need to diversify. But the reason you default into these relationships is that they are easy and natural.

They just happen. I run into this mom at swim practice five times a week. She seems okay. My kid plays with her smelly kid for some reason. And off we go. This is Social Collision used ineffectively and passively. Okay, so no more of that BS.

We need to be intentional about it. For example, I used to take my dog to the same dog park every day at about 6 PM. The people there sucked! And so did their dogs! They were tired and stressed out from the day, and their dogs were wild from being cooped up all day. So I changed it up. I went to the dog park at 7 AM every day. We went over and over in every weather condition constantly for weeks.

You know what happened? I became friends with five people who had some of the same values I did. That was enough to find other commonalities.

They became my friends. I went out on two dates with a woman in the group, and we remained friends long after. Be consistent and go to the same place day after day, but do it intentionally. That is how Social Collision works. Say you have a favorite bar. You are more introverted and like intellectual pursuits and live music. When should you go to your favorite bar? Or when there is a live musician on a slow Monday night and a trivia night on a Wednesday?

Let me tell you, if you go to that bar on those nights for a month consistently, you are going to meet people who enjoy live music and like intellectual games. I guarantee it.

6 Places to Meet Guys When You’re an Introvert

This is a complete guide on where to meet women as an introverted man. If you are shy on any level and find socializing difficult, then this is the guide for you. I recommend you pair it with this guide on how to become successful with women.

I swore that I would become more outgoing, have engaging conversations in and out of the classroom, and meet someone special. My vision for my social life was drastically different than the reality, though. Despite my resolution to be an extrovert, I still left parties beating myself up.

These are 11 quick stories from several self-proclaimed introverts and how they came to meet their significant other. I was a waitress at a restaurant he came into. Married almost 9 years. I met my husband while I was shopping. Bonus, The avocados are now free.

4 Ways to Meet Someone if You’re an Introvert

When I plunged into the dating scene after getting out of a long-term relationship , my immediate inclination was to "play" extrovert by setting up numerous dates in a week, to give everyone a chance, to give those I was on the fence about a second chance, and to stay out well past my bedtime, even if I felt like I was losing steam. It took only a few weeks of this before I realized that dating was taking its toll and that I was becoming bad at it — failing to respond to texts and messages in a timely manner, rushing through dates with people I felt little connection with and, eventually finding myself leaving all of my dates with a nagging desire for the solace of my quiet apartment. So I reassessed my dating approach to better align with my energy levels and need for depth over breadth. Introverts have deep inner worlds. Everyone does. But introverts specifically can be thought of as having minds like an onion: to gain access to those inner layers requires significant peeling, done with sensitivity and patience. Because of this, you may be initially unfairly labeled as shy a common misconception , nerdy, or aloof. Keep in mind that whoever is worth your time and getting to know will take relish in peeling back those layers to tap into your rich inner landscape. While boozing at a crowded bar may not be your thing, remember that a one-on-one date is where introverts really shine.

25 Dating Tips Every Introvert Needs To Know

Here is our list of the top 5 places to meet women in-person as an introverted guy. Why is each of these such an awesome venue to expand your dating pool? Also, the entire event is structured. Women expect you to ask them to dance, and they expect you to hold them.

Why not just cut to the chase and get to real, meaningful conversation?

It made me more comfortable knowing the area, what kind of food there was, etc. Even if that means saying no to bingeing on another series! No pressure.

Where to Meet Women As An introverted Man

Over the years I have learned that forcing myself to mingle or bar hop on Saturday night quickly leads to burnout. I just need to put myself in situations where I can really shine. A dinner or drinks with a small group of friends is the best setting for more introverted types, which is good news because meeting someone through friends is still the most common way matches get made.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Tips on How to Attract Women as an Introvert - Dating Tips For Introverts

Introversion is a term coined by CG Jung and was used in his work on psychological types. In contrast to being open to the outside world, introverts turn to their own inner world. Social interactions used to cost me a lot of energy. I was jealous of extroverts who felt energized interacting with people, because I always needed a lot of time on my own to recover after social situations. We live in a crazy world dominated by social networking sites , where people willingly give up every scrap of their privacy. Writing a blog helped me learn how to express my emotions.

Dating Tips For Introverts: The Ultimate Cheat Sheet

To every introvert, the act of finding a significant other means doing the opposite of what you love most — blowing through another Netflix murder mystery series in fleece-lined sweatpants. But if you actually want a partner-in-crime-docs, it means the dreaded Putting Yourself Out There. Yes, it might mean squandering a night in for a Tinder date who talks about investment banking all night long and never ask you a single question. But, luckily, there are some ways to make the act of going out just a little less of a daunting hell-ride. Here are 11 tips for dating if you're a tried-and-true introvert:. First dates are supposed to be the bumbly, slightly-uncomfortable feeling-each-other-out stage.

Mar 9, - It is why when it comes to finding love, the introvert's path to doing so If you are an introvert and you are reading this article, I've come up with.

Meeting new people as an adult is hard. While it can be especially hard for introverts, the question of how to meet new people is certainly not isolated to one set of personalities. However, there is a way to meet people naturally. And not just any old randos.

Confessions Of An Introvert: How Meeting People Online Taught Me To Date IRL

When I discovered AOL chat rooms was when I discovered the freedom to express my introverted self, extrovertedly. There, I could talk to boys without turning pink. And there, boys could talk to me, with interest.






Comments: 2
  1. Mebei

    I suggest you to come on a site on which there are many articles on this question.

  2. Akinoktilar

    I think, that you are mistaken. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will talk.

Thanks! Your comment will appear after verification.
Add a comment

© 2020 Online - Advisor on specific issues.