How to get friends closer
In one of the site's central articles I go over a basic structure for how to make new friends. It focuses on the beginning stages of meeting some people and starting to hang out with them. Some readers say they get stuck at this point. They're okay about finding some new acquaintances, but aren't sure how to take things further than that. Here I'll talk about some general guidelines for taking a new friendship to a deeper level. The concepts I'll describe below often happen automatically as a friendship progresses, but you can take more control of your social life by deliberately trying to use them.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Guide to Maintaining FriendshipsContent:
5 Ways to Get Closer to Your Friends
Friendships are some of the most important and beneficial relationships you can have in life. In addition to companionship, good friends provide you with validation and a sense of belonging. They also offer support during stressful times, improve your self-confidence, and influence your lifestyle. To make close friends, start by exploring a new interest or hobby that you love to meet new people who have the same interests.
If you're interested in making a friend who has the same beliefs as you, volunteer in your community or through a church organization that you enjoy to meet people who share your views. When you're getting to know someone, invite them to spend time with you, and try to accept their invitations to hang out as much as possible so they know you like them.
Explore this Article Meeting New People. Evaluating Potential Friendships. Maintaining Friendships. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1 of Ask yourself what a close friendship means to you. The answer to this question may differ from person to person, and there is no wrong or right choice.
It's based on your personal preferences. Some people covet friendships with people who have shared similar situations or struggles. Others long for friends who have the same core values as them.
History- shared pasts and circumstances Common values- ideals for how to live life Equality- a balance of give and take Decide which combination of elements is most important to you. By doing so, you can learn what places or situations might help you foster new friendships. For example, if you care about history and you are struggling with social anxiety, you might connect well with a person in your support group who has overcome this condition in the past.
Explore a new interest. When you sign up for something in which everyone is learning a new thing the pressure to perform is off. Learning a new skill — whether pottery or golf — might be intimidating, but learning with others may help you to forge new connections. Get active. Walk the dog. Play Frisbee or kickball with your kids. Go running in your neighborhood. Join a gym and participate in group fitness classes. Embracing regular physical activity is a wonderful way to improve your physical health and establish new friendships.
For example, if you are walking your dog through the park, let your dog lead. If he or she shows interest in another pup, you can use this interest to strike up a connection with the other dog's owner. Ask whether this person's dog is friendly, what it likes to do for fun, or the weirdest thing it ever ate. Think about it, you already know of at least one mutual interest you have with this individual - a love of animals. Participate in community service. Of course, one of the greatest impacts of volunteering is positively benefiting your local community.
Just spending an hour or so of your time each week can help make your area a better place to live in. Volunteering is also a two-way street - as you give, you also receive. It helps strengthen your ties to the community, connects you with others through a shared activity, and can even deepen an existing relationship. Take part in spiritual activities. Understanding your purpose and role in the universe or with a higher power naturally makes you feel less alone.
Additionally, getting in touch with your spiritual side can lead to new friendships. Visit a church, prayer center, retreat, or meditation or yoga class built around the spiritual principles you value.
Start a conversation with someone you see regularly about his spiritual beliefs and see where it goes. Invite members of your spiritual or religious group to join a book club devoted to spirituality or personal development.
Take advantage of interactions wherever you go. Sometimes, friends find each other by coincidence. You might bump into a great potential friend at the pet store or in line at the coffee shop. Open your eyes to all the possibilities of developing new relationships that are in front of you on a daily basis. Accept invitations, and extend them. Or, when someone asks you out to an activity, return the favor by inviting her to something next time.
Even online invitations to be friends can lead to lasting and fulfilling relationships. Opening yourself up to virtual friendships can be just as rewarding as face-to-face connections.
What's more, if your virtual friends are local, once you feel ready, you can always arrange to meet up and move an online relationship off-line. Part 2 of Think about how this person makes you feel. Instead, dig deeper and pay attention to internal signs of a healthy connection. Ask yourself the following about a potential friend:  X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Industry-leading nonprofit dedicated to promoting mental health issues Go to source Do I feel safe around this person?
Does this person treat me with respect? Is he or she supportive of my ideas and goals? Can I trust this person? Is this person overly critical of me? Does this person take my kindness for granted? Consider the habits of new friends. Good friends may discourage your participation in unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking. Friends can impact our choices and even unconsciously sway us to pick up unhealthy habits.
Friends even matched how heavy the other friend drank, without even knowing. While drinking may not be a make or break for a new friendship, drug addiction or criminal activity might be red flags for you to stay away from a fledgling relationship. Determine if the other person is committed to the friendship. Deepening and maintaining a relationship requires continuous nurturing and attention. The give and take in a friendship may not always be equal.
However, if the friendship is always one-sided, and you are constantly giving of yourself or acting against your own needs or values, this may not be a friendship you choose to continue. Part 3 of Call or hang out regularly.
A good way to deepen a connection with someone is to keep in touch. With some friends, you may fall into the habit of meeting up every Thursday night. With others, such as long-distance friendships, you may only get together every other month or so.
Find a balance for each of your friendships. Simply take out the time to let your friends know you are thinking about them and interested in their lives. There are few attributes as important as being a good listener when it comes to friendships, and all relationships, really. Typically, when a person is feeling down or stressed out, the first person you go to is your closest friend. Adopt the habit of being an active listener so that potential friends know that they can count on you for non-judgmental support.
A clear sign of a close friendship is feeling like you can confide in the other person. Talking to a friend about something that is bothering you - or exciting to you - can help you sort through your feelings, put things into perspective, and even release tension.
If your friend ask questions, seems interested, refrains from judging, and discloses personal information to you as well, you might move forward to sharing more intimate details about yourself.
Respect boundaries. A healthy and long-lasting relationship is built on boundaries.
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
This article is available for download as a free PDF ebook. Click the button below to download my free ebook. I would like some advice on how I can meet new people and get more friends. After all, friends form a big part of our life for most of us.
Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships. Below are some ways to bond with a friend, any friend, so that you guys can get one step closer to calling each other besties. One of the best things about having friends is having someone to celebrate all of the good stuff with. But one of the best things about having good friends is having someone you can go to with the bad stuff, too.
10 Tips to Make New Friends
I have friends who like to hike, and friends who like to chat over coffee and friends who live far away but whom I talk to a few times a year. But close friends? Not so much. A childhood friend and I had a falling-out, never to be repaired. Another close friend moved away. But the research is clear: Close friendships are necessary for optimal health and well-being. Levine said. True close friendship unsurprisingly does not need to be quite as extreme. Chen said.
Making Good Friends
Last updated on February 12, Scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have designed a method where 2 strangers were able to become close friends in less than 60 minutes. What researchers call the Fast Friends procedure 1 will not only help you build deep relationships quickly, it also helps you know what to say next in a conversation. Professionals such as police, interrogators, and psychologists have learned how to build trust and befriend a stranger rapidly based on these findings.
To feel more connected, skip the small talk and ask these questions instead. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know? If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
How Friends Become Closer
Like any relationship, friendships take effort and work. As people hurtle toward the peak busyness of middle age, friends—who are usually a lower priority than partners, parents, and children—tend to fall by the wayside. Our increasingly mobile world also strains friendship.
Building friendships takes time, and can often be a struggle for those who are introverted or shy. The next step is to forge closer friendships. Be Yourself Sometimes, the last person you want to be is yourself — you feel shy and awkward and completely uninteresting. When it comes to making friendships and getting closer to current friends, do your best to stay true to yourself. Either way, honesty counts for a lot and nobody is going to hold it against you if you admit to being nervous. One On One Time Spending time together in group settings is a good way to make friends and can take the pressure off.
How to Become Close Friends With Anyone
Join AARP at 1 p. Learn more. By this point in your life, you've got plenty of friends, from the mom you bonded with when your now-grown kids were in kindergarten to the convivial neighbor you met when you moved to your new condo. But how do you maximize the health-enhancing, stress-reducing, fun-increasing potential of your friendships? When life gets busy, the first thing we offload is time with friends — ironic, since seeing friends is a key to relieving stress. How to make friendships more of a priority? Trusting your friendships to routine, rather than impulse, makes it more likely you'll actually get together and reap the rewards of friendship on a consistent basis. We don't need research though there's plenty of it to tell us that women bond over talking.
One of the most important parts of deepening your friendship is learning how to be a good friend by being supportive and handling conflict respectfully when it comes up. Log in Facebook. No account yet?
How to Get Closer to Someone & Become Real Friends
Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else.
8 ways to bond with a friend to become even closer
The conversation goes something like this:. We may start to feel uncomfortable over time and even avoid seeing people we really like because our words and actions and energy and desires, for that matter! However, every now and then someone new comes into my world, and I follow the approach below to intentionally build a wonderful new connection over time. This may sound like a catch, but you can think of it like exercising: The less you exercise, the lazier and more out of shape you will feel, and it becomes harder and harder to get to the gym.